I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
