I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
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I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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