That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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