I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
