Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night