your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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