So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.