:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
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If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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