I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things