haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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