im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
