i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
