There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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