The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
