I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
