she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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