Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
