How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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