Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
