I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
