My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
