This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
