The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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