I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
