Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.

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(206): View more from Washington

ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer

(818): View more from California

oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(713): View more from Texas

She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?

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