Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
