well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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