Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
