My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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