haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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