i jhust puked up my retainher.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize