There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
