You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish you could order shots online.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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