My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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