Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
