my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
