Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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