u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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