Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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