Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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