Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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