Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
