Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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