I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
