You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize