how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
