Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
