I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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