But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
