My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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