Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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