More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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