My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
