he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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