I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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