I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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