You really coming over, don't trick.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
