Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize