if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
