My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
